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Exhibitionist cinema

Exhibitionist cinema (NSFW).

 

Bodacious bare babes in mainstream movies.

 

Dancing naked (NSFW).

Here is another offering from the wonderful world of 1970s German sex comedies featuring Ingrid Steeger as a girl who appears as a spectral exhibitionist and performs a naked dance routine for a very lucky chap in The Calendar Girls. How I wish I could find a saucy spell book which would allow me to summon ethereal babe babes to gyrate around like Ingrid. Surely such a tome is out there somewhere awaiting discovery.

 

A CMNF spy scene (NSFW)

The honey trap is a tried and trusted espionage technique which has landed many an unwary fellow in trouble over the centuries. This clip from the 1976 Nazisploitation movie Salon Kitty (based on a genuine Nazi run brothel in which all of the supposed prostitutes were, in fact, agents of the regime) shows one garrulous fellow talking himself into an early grave. It only goes to show that bare babes are likely to cloud a chap's thinking in even the most perilous of circumstances.

 

Jungle jugs (NSFW).

There have been many retellings of the Tarzan story over the decades but my favourite is Tarzana the Wild Girl, made in 1969. When an aristocrat sends an expedition to look for his long lost daughter who was believed to have perished in a plane crash years before they discover that she has become the queen of the jungle who roams through her domain wearing nothing but a thong as she commands all her animal friends to do her bidding. Alas, she is also being sought by a gang of bad guys who plan to kidnap her and demand a ransom. This, understandably enough, makes Tarzana suspicious of all strangers. So how does one gain the trust of a wary wild girl? The answer, it transpires, is remarkably simple.

 

Tribute exhibitionism (NSFW).

As a general rule I am not a fan of tribute acts but I am perfectly happy to make an exception in the case of Gretchen Mol's portrayal of The Notorious Bettie Page, seen here demonstrating legendary pin up photographer Bunny Yeager's assertion that Bettie could somehow be "nude but not naked". Far from being exploitative, this is a film which deals sympathetically with its subject, very much portraying Bettie as a person and not merely a pin up. After all, exhibitionists are people too, no matter how much prurient puritans might try to demonise them for their lifestyle choices.

 

Exhibitionism in the zombie apocalypse (NSFW).

Some girls are such committed exhibitionists that even the outbreak of the zombie apocalypse won't stop them getting naked. A case in point is '80s scream queen (and shameless show off) Linnea Quigley whose character, Trash, is performing a public striptease atop a tomb in the 1985 comedy horror The Return of the Living Dead when a release of military grade corpse reviving chemicals has the dead returning to life like it was going out of fashion. The unfortunate Trash falls victim to the zombie horde and joins them as they rampage through town, remaining stark naked as she does so and I have to say she makes a great looking zombie. Back in the '80s it seemed like every actress on the planet was making a physical fitness video and Linnea cashed in on her notoriety by making a saucy zombie themed workout video which you can watch at The Internet Archive.

 

Magical boobs (NSFW).

These clips are taken from laughably awful 1984 shlockfest The Warrior and the Sorceress which stars David Carradine as itinerant martial arts master Kain who arrives in a small town in which two rival warlords battle for control and the wily wandering warrior hatches a plan to pit them against one another to ensure their mutual destruction by convincing each that he is their ally against the other. Not exactly original I know but the film is saved by its staggering silliness and the presence of Maria Socas as Naja, the sorceress of the title, who can apparently create a magical sword which will make its wielder invincible and who spends most of the film wearing little more than a thong. Presumably she has magical tits which must remain unfettered to enable her supernatural sword smelting powers: they certainly do have a bewitching effect as she wobbles and jiggles her way through the movie.

 

A naked gladiator girl (NSFW).

Pretentious big budget movies just cry out to be parodied and 2000's Gladiator is very much a case in point. Happily the parody version, Gladiator Eroticus vs The Lesbian Warriors, not only makes a mock of the original but also boasts a host of bare beauties in gladiatorial action as General Eroticus (Darian Caine) wows the crowd with her martial prowess and insatiable lesbian lust. However, when Emperor Dickus Minimus tries to introduce a heterosexual element into proceedings the fans are, quite understandably, far from happy.

 

CMNF interrupted (NSFW).

What better way to spend the evening than attending a CMNF soiree? Clearly that is the view taken by a group of chaps in the saucy 1973 movie Fruhreifen Report. However, hardly have the ladies of easy virtue whom they have employed for the occasion disrobed than proceedings are rudely interrupted by the police, resulting in befuddled bare babes scattering in all directions as they flee into the night.

 

 

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